Another year has come and gone and tomorrow will be the 8th (!) anniversary of Dad's passing. I don't know what to say about the significance of it. I know that it still hurts to think about that day 8 years ago, and many of the moments since. I think about how different all of our lives are, and that makes me incredibly sad, even though I think most of the changes were great ones. I really have a hard time thinking about how life would be these days if he were still here.
Anyway, the point of the blog today is to say that, as I posted last week, I've been really trying to recommit to fitness, and to make some positive changes in my life, but am having a hard time following through on them. I've decided today that one thing that might help is to have my own physical/spiritual/mental journey from Feb 16 to April 16, a couple of days it is easy for me to mark. It also nicely coincides with Lent, which I don't really observe anymore, but maybe it will make it easier to cut out the Coke and chocolate when everyone else is doing something similar.
So, Dad, I normally mark your passing with a Coke, some Dots, and usually some other treats that remind me of you. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, and will probably go back to that routine in years to come. But this year, I'm going to honor you tomorrow by starting a couple months of total-body wellness.
2 comments:
caleb,
i LOVE the idea of the 2 month goal. for me, i also do better when i have a goal or restriction (usually goal - i hate restrictions). for me, i have the goal of taking a run about 6 weeks after nora is born. then i have the goal of doing a 5k run this coming fall. then, i'm going to do another 1/2 marathon when she's 1. do you think after these 2 months, that a goal of working out 3 times a week is something that would work for you or is it too loosey-goosey? also, i think that your committment to health has always remained, but the transition to law school is major. ben and i both gained a ton of weight our first years due to the adjustment. it is more a reflection of the stress and life change, than on feelings of overall health.
anyways, i applaud the re-newed blogging and re-newed committment. i was checking the blog today just b/c i wanted to look back over this last year as well. i can't believe it's been 8 years since dad died. my sadness at his loss won't ever go away. and, i truly cannot stand that he has not been here to see what we've all done these past 8 years and our additions to our family. sigh.
i WILL be having a coke and some dots today. maybe even red robin. :) i'll be thinking of all of us and thankful for each member of our family.
good luck with these 2 months, caleb. i know you can achieve the goals you set. do you have one in mind yet?
love you!
Family,
I would like to take this opportunity to say how proud of all of you I am. I think Dad would be too. I always have a hard time saying Dad would, because as we have all seen, people change and none of us ever really know what someone else will do.
I would like to think that Dad would say something to me with a heavy sigh and a, "Well, you have always done things your way." Or something similar.
I want to take this opportunity to say why I am proud of each of my siblings:
Heather,
I am so proud of the Mom you have become. It is so much fun to watch you as a mom, and not just a good mom, but a great mom. I love to see how incredibly patient you are and how you excel at being a Mom to Evey. I hope to someday be as good a Mom as you. I am also really impressed by the way you radiate joy. You inspire me. I love you and will always look up to you.
Caleb,
You are a genius. I am really impressed by the way you challenge me to see situations from a different point of view. You are thoughtful, genuine, and kind. I have really come to value your opinions and you viewpoint these past few years. I am honored to call you my brother.
Ben,
You really have a heart of gold. I love the way you want to please people and that you are always trying to see the best in people. You are kind and wise beyond your years. I am impressed by your ability to think things through and by all the good choices you have made so far in your life. You have faced far more obstacles than I can ever imagine and I am impressed by the grace with which you have handled them.
I love you guys and I am damn proud of each of you. I am proud of us and our commitment to family.
Every year at this time I am reminded how fragile life is and how everything can change in an instant. I am trying to spend this time in Chile appreciating the minute and really experiencing that which life has to offer me. I miss Dad a lot and wish that I could share my experiences with him and listen to his reactions. I would love to have his input about my future and the decisions I have already made. I feel like I get a little bit of that when I talk to you guys. You inspire me. I see Dad in each of you, and I cherish that in you. I love you guys!
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